Roger and Elaine’s Date

A guy named Roger asks a woman named Elaine out to a movie. She accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and soon neither is seeing anyone else.
Then one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine. She says to Roger: “Do you realize that we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”
Silence fills the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: “Gee, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that? Maybe he feels confined by our relationship? Maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation.”
And Roger is thinking: “Gosh. Six months.”
And Elaine is thinking: “But hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: “So that means it was…let’s see…February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the mechanics, which means…let me check the odometer…whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change!”
And Elaine is thinking: “He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship—more intimacy, more commitment. Maybe he senses my reservations. Yes, that’s it. He’s afraid of being rejected.”
And Roger is thinking: “I’m going to have them look at the transmission again—it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on cold weather this time. It’s 87 degrees outside, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck. I paid those incompetent thieves 600 dollars!”
And Elaine is thinking: “He’s angry, and I don’t blame him. I’d be angry too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.”
And Roger is thinking: “They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty. That’s what they’re going to say!”
And Elaine is thinking: “Maybe I’m too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting next to a perfectly good man who’s in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl fantasy.”
And Roger is thinking: “Warranty? I’ll give them a warranty.”
“Roger,” Elaine says aloud.
“What?” says Roger.
“I’m such a fool,” Elaine says, sobbing. “I mean, I know there’s no knight and there’s no horse.”
“There’s no horse?” says Roger.
“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Elaine says.
“No!” Roger says, glad to know the correct answer.
“It’s just that…. I need some time,” Elaine says.
There is a 15-second pause while Roger tries to come up with a safe response. “Yes,” he finally says.
Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. “Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?”
“What way?” says Roger.
“That way about time,” Elaine says.
“Oh” says Roger. “Yes.”
Elaine gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she says, “Thank you, Roger.”
“Thank you,” he responds.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted soul weeping until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips, turns on the TV and watches a rerun of a tennis match between two Czech players he never heard of. A tiny voice in his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he figures it’s better not to think about it.
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, and they will talk for six straight hours. In painstaking detail they will analyze everything she said and everything he said. They will continue to discuss this subject for weeks, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.
Meanwhile, Roger, playing racquetball one day with a friend of his and Elaine’s, will pause just before serving and ask, “Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?”
(Author Unknown)